Finding Home

I am so incredibly blessed. I had such an amazing day at the temple, I just want to share it with someone. However, I won't share the specifics here. I will say, though, that the work that is done in the temples is very real. There are people on the other side of the veil--people who are no longer living on the earth--who are awaiting the ordinances performed by proper priesthood authority. It is a work that extends throughout eternity, and binds families together. It goes beyond death. I love it!

I look forward to the day that I can kneel across the altar in the temple and accept a worthy man as my husband for time and all eternity. To be sealed to him and our posterity forever.

Some days when I think about it, I think of how long forever is, and I struggle to imagine being with someone for that long. But then I think that if it's the right person, forever won't seem long enough. That's what I want.

On the phone the other day, one of my sisters said I have a wandering spirit, and I will never stay in one place long. The original context was of work. I tend to jump around to completely unrelated fields. She then expanded it to include me looking for adventures, and going on road trips. She doesn't think I'll ever settle down.

All of her evidences are true. I enjoy adventures, but more often than not, they're little ones. Like watching the ducklings play around in the pond and surrounding landscape (they're super cute!!), or exploring where I am.  I do switch jobs, because none of them...fit. The work I did for the NLN was good, too bad there was more bad about that environment than good.

I really just want to find where I belong. I want to find my home base. I want to be able to look back on the past 10 years and be flooded with memories of my life in one place, and to be able to see growth and progress. She was lucky enough to find her place early. I...yes. I have not been so lucky.

I've been tagging onto my family members, watching their growth and progress. My grandparents, especially my grandma, were my strongest tie to a home base. My grandma was my best friend. When she died... I knew it was time for me to move and find my real home base. ...but I didn't. I didn't want to leave the familiarity of the area and my family and friends. ...So I stuck around.

I can't begin to tell you how stubborn I am. The Lord has still found ways to make me useful, even through my stubbornness. It's incredible. I am seriously my own biggest roadblock. ...I wish I could tell you in detail, but I don't think you'd find it as interesting as I do. Now here I am, a year and a half after my grandmother died, finally doing what I should have done 16 months ago, and again what I should have done 4 months ago. I'm moving to Boise. I hope that I will find where I belong there. I know I love that temple, so it has that going for it.

I want to find home.