What's my purpose?

I wonder what my purpose is.

I shared an abbreviated version of how I came to be in Boise with a sister in Relief Society today. She said her husband had a similar story. He felt he needed to accept a job here, and had just moved from Texas. She was up visiting from Utah. Their paths crossed, ended up dating briefly, falling in love, getting married, and here they are--expecting baby number 2.

She said, "I was scared of my feelings. I actually kept trying to break up with him. We didn't know each other long, but it turns out I loved him. It scared me, because it happened so fast."

I knew all too well what she was talking about; when you know, you know. She agreed with that statement. They've been married just over two years.

It seems to work out for everyone but me. Don't get me wrong, a lot of really good things have happened in the last two years. It's just hard when I've been in Idaho over 9 months, and I still don't really have friends, and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here.

My friends are all within their certain bubbles, and they don't leave those bubbles.

examples:
People that I serve with at the temple--they're my friends Saturday mornings at the temple.
My coworkers that I work with at school--they're my friends when we're at school.
At church, I teach primary--great class--and I'm in the stake RS presidency. ish. (I'm just the secretary.) That means I mainly interact with 8-10 yos, and occasionally women who are roughly twice my age.
Dance studio? Again, older people who I don't see outside of the studio, and I'm not there regularly.

I'm at such a weird stage at life that I don't fit in anywhere. I guess I'm glad they keep me busy with callings and work. But it doesn't stop me from thinking and wondering in my downtime.

This morning, I was sitting reflecting on life. I just don't seem to have a heart.

Here I am, another Mother's Day, forgotten by everyone. I'll call my mom, and my sisters to wish them a happy mother's day. All the while, I'll sit in my apartment, so far from everyone, alone and wondering what the heck I'm doing here. I just want to cry.

Alas, I didn't finish grading, so I still need to do that.

Just keep swimming, right?

Bright side: The stake RS presidency liked the newsletter I made. (see the screenshots)