Pushover

I was filling out this written interview, and I got stuck on this question:

What is a common misconception your coworkers have about you, and why?

...I don’t know. I don’t typically talk to my coworkers, so my first thought was stuck-up. I’m not a let’s-sit-and-be-social kind of person, especially when there’s work to be done.

I mentioned this question to my roommate, and she said, “I’m going to be honest...” she seemed kind of nervous, but I really didn’t care what the answer was. People have different thoughts of people. If you don’t like me, you don’t like me. We don’t have to be friends to work together. So after a pause she continued:

When I saw all of the missionaries, and I found out you were going to be my companion, I thought, “great, I get the pushover.” Then the first time we went tracting, there was that big old man with white hair and he called us ignorant and stupid for believing what we believed in. You stood up to him, and I had to pull you away from that door. That was when I realized you’re a lot more than you seem, but you’re not a pushover.

I remember that man. He tried to use science—biology, geology, etc—to make his point. If he actually listened to what he was saying, he would have realized how little sense he made. I don’t think he expected young ladies to have any idea what he was talking about. However, I did. And I could take his arguments a step forward, while including scripture references, to show him how HE was wrong. He scrambled to find new ones...that conveniently contradicted his previous statements, and yes. ...I was pulled away. Haha

Anyways, I AM a pushover—but sometimes I’m not. (Replay the last month of my time at the NLN.)  It comes down to whether or not something matters to me. The truth is, most things DON’T matter to me. I’m up for adventures, and that means going along with other people’s plans. If you don’t have one, I’ll go do my own thing, no big. But if you insult my intelligence, integrity, or are endangering yourself or others, I will not go quietly into the night. I’m quiet, I’m observant. But when push comes to shove, I will stand strong.

If you need me, I’ll be there. I can tolerate a lot of crap, so it seems like I’m a pushover. Right now, with my roommate thing, I feel like a pushover. I just need to find a good job so I can go and get settled in Idaho.

Y’know, I was volunteering at the rodeo, and one of the girls is my age, and she’s given up on finding a guy, too. She’s cute, talented, friendly. I think of my other cute single female friends that are so amazing, and I wonder how does this even happen? How has no guy realized what treasure he has right in front of him? I mean, if she seems out of your league, up your game so you can be in the same ballpark! (Just talking to her gets you to the fence at least!) It’s so discouraging.

As for me. Well, I’m just me. My heart and confidence in that aspect are shot. Dead. Truly. I have no hope for a husband—I don’t want to be someone’s second choose. I think I’ll get a dog when I move.