I listened to a devotional about people being created to fulfill their purpose, and having the talents and skills necessary to do so. So stop comparing yourself to others.
I imagine that once you discover your purpose, you’ll feel content with where you are or what you're doing.
...I have yet to experience that. So I'm still searching.
Someone told me on Sunday, after learning why I chose SLC instead of Boise, that my not wanting to go to Boise when I first moved west was selfish. He said that I shouldn't avoid a whole city/state because of one person if that was where I felt I needed to be.
I'm trying to rectify that decision, though I still...it's hard.
Seeing people's posts on their relationships are really hard for me to understand. Similar experiences/thoughts/feelings/you name it, except it worked for them and not for me. What's wrong with me? I really wish someone would tell me.
I can't even muster enough ganas to try dating. Though I know my relationship status has no hope of changing if I don't date. I just...what's the point? It won't work out. It never does. Not even with the one who was different from the rest, the one with whom everything was easy, and it "just clicked."
I really just want to go home. I don't even know where that is anymore. Adam's still the one who feels like home, but he's not. He didn't choose me.
It's so exhausting. It's like I'm a phone constantly looking for a wifi signal or something and all I get is a run-down battery.
I'm trying to push forward. Trying to get through this, trying to stay busy...but I feel like I'm failing miserably.
Is it too much to hope that somewhere there is a man that will miss me when we can’t talk? Who will not sleep well when we’re apart? Who can make me laugh without being insulting to others? Who will think I’m cute when I feel like a wreck? Who will have my back when things get rough? Who will make me think we can do anything because we’ve got each other? ...because that’s what I want to do for him.
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