I feel like I’m pulled every which way, but don’t know where to go so I stand frozen doing nothing. 

I’m feeling homesick. Not for idaho per se, but for a love and a life I don’t know. I wish I had that person I could turn to for comfort after an emotionally exhausting day of trying to help and support my parents. 

I’m not doing so well here. I don’t even have energy to work on finding a better job when I do go back home. I’m so drained. Hope is hard for me. 

I thought about downloading mutual against maybe i’d not be so alone, but I really don’t feel like small talk. The guys I do know are not able to really support me through this. My dad is dying. He’s not really eating or taking his medicine. 

How I wish I were not alone through this. Random: Adam has been the only person I could even picture introducing to my family. That ship sailed. I know.

Spinster. That’s me. Sin corazón. I wanna find home.