I just read of the passing of the last widow of a civil war soldier passing away. She was 101. How is that possible when the civil war was 1861-65? She was 17 when she married the nonagenarian in secret. She never married again the rest of her life. 

I can’t imagine that. There are some incredible, strong, single women out there. The thought of a life without a family of my own making breaks my heart. I keep thinking I should just settle on the next guy who comes along, while at the same time thinking it had better be Adam. 😂🤣😅😓 Seriously, I don’t know why he’s still stuck in my heart. He’s old for kids, and I’m almost too old. Not to mention the whole list of other issues with him. I just keep coming back to him. I’ve been called beautiful—without my mask—by two men this week. It means nothing to me. Yet I think, why can’t Adam think so, too? Why can’t he see me and remember? On top of everything else, I think he’d be an interesting person to talk with about everything that’s going on in the world.

I’m still feeling homesick, and wonder when I’ll find home.

Pictures of the temple helped. I miss the temple, one day I’ll have my own forever family.

Update: Elder Gong is great. There were definitely a bunch of parts of his devotional that reminded me I need to refocus my efforts. I will keep hoping.