Common themes the past while...sorry. Well, this one is going to be different. :0

The story hasn't changed. It's not going to change no matter how often I write that I miss anyone or anything.

So instead, I'm going to share some awesome things going on--my life isn't pathetic after all. It's just not how I would like it to be, but I'm not callous enough to miss the great things that happen.

For instance, today after lunch, in the hallway right outside my classroom, I found a fortune from a fortune cookie. It said, "You will overcome difficult times." It made me laugh because I needed that little reminder today. This, too, shall pass. I was thinking about if I were to be suddenly told I can't teach anymore because I don't know Spanish well enough, or I didn't get the certification--I'm still waiting to hear the verdict of what the Board said--I'd be ok. I'd find another job somewhere. It wouldn't be the end of the world.

Another cool thing? The temple! It's really an amazing place, but what is more amazing? Cuan bien contenta soy. I mean, when I lived in Utah, I was surrounded by temples. I would go to different ones every time, and while the work was great, there was something missing. It was the same with the DC temple. It was where I could easily go and be at the temple, but it didn't quite feel right. (You can call me Goldilocks.) I'm in Boise, and it's GREAT! I've not even really given the Meridian temple more than a passing thought, and it's not very far.

It's still very odd to me in a wonderful kind of way. I would have thought this feeling would have passed by now. Why Boise? I don't know.

The guy that I've been messaging--y'know, the one that I have to really try to recall his name--well, we were talking about temples, and he sent pictures of the San Diego, LA, Laie, and Boise temples. Out of all of those, simply seeing the Boise temple made me very happy. I felt like a little kid on Christmas morning. Haha, it's really weird, but it is what it is.

I realize that I am where I need to be. While I miss my family, and I miss dancing, and I wish I had someone to talk to outside of work--someone who wouldn't keep trying to ask me out when I've told him I'm not interested in being anything more than friends with him--there's something for me here. I just have to figure out what. I have to find my place. I'm fairly certain it's not just to isolate me from the people I care about.

I miss them, but not in a way like I need to move back to where they are.

I wish I had someone to do fall activities with. To go hiking with. To hang out with as the days get shorter. Bof.

Maybe Adam...I don't know. What we had was too perfect. Too good to be true. I think of the other guys I know. They're real. They don't make me think of families and futures, or make me really laugh, but you know...maybe that's reality. Maybe looking for more, waiting for more, hoping for more...maybe it's futile. Maybe "more" doesn't exist outside of fairy tales.

...but then I think of him, and I think that maybe it does? Maybe I can find that again?

Haha, it always comes back to him. Sorry. I'm trying.

I just. Really miss him. He still has my heart. And I wish I could tell him.