Your Word Is Your Bond

Don't make offers you're not willing to keep.
If you say you want to be there for someone, then be there.
If you say you want to hear their story whenever they want to tell you, then listen.

It's so frustrating. If I were able to tell my story, there would be less weird, disconnected posts here. They all tie into various parts of my story...that I've not been able to tell...bahumbug. Well, we all know how odd it seems, otherwise you wouldn't be here reading this.

In other news, tomorrow's my birthday. I got 6 cards in the mail from one of the ladies I serve with in the RS presidency. I won't lie--it made me cry. Whenever someone does something nice for me, it does make me cry because it doesn't happen often. Honest to goodness, people rarely do things just for me, even less when it's unprompted.

Another thing that makes me sad--don't assume that grad school and a full-time job is any easier because you don't have a family at home to take care of. When it's something you don't want to do, and you question everyday what the heck you're doing with your life, it's hard to show up. It's hard to get the work done. It's harder when you have to find that motivation all on your own because you have no one at home, "in your corner".

I'm frustrated with Adam, but I'm more frustrated with myself for thinking it would be different. That he would let me tell him the stupid story he said I could tell him.

I wonder why I want to tell him. Probably because he asked why I couldn't fall in love with any of the other guys I've gone out with, and then he said I could tell him the story. It does keep coming back to him, but it's more than that. And I realize we're in different states--we're not going to cross paths, much less end up together. That's not the point of the story I want to share. The point is that I'm waiting (forever waiting) on God's timing for God's plan for me. And unfortunately, a lot of the things tie back to Adam. That's it. I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. Trust me. I'm trying to find someone else. It's increasingly discouraging when the people you talk to online quickly jump into hookup mode. >.<

Bof.

And instead of doing any of my homework, I was taking fall pictures for a single mom. Why can't work be more fun like serving?