Temptation and Service

Temptations come in all forms.

My bishop told me the other day, "Do you know what your temptation is? It's discouragement; it's doubting yourself. Did you know that's a temptation?"

I did not. I had never thought of it that way before. He explained that temptations lead us away from Heavenly Father and His plan for us. (His plan being for our happiness.) Discouragement and self-doubt are some of the adversary's ways of keeping us from our potential. To me, they are some of my greatest temptations.

I'm happy to be able to say I have never doubted that my Heavenly Father loves me. I know that because even as I doubt myself I feel His love encouraging me on.

I'm really struggling right now as I look for a job, and as Christmas fast approaches. I'm really struggling with discouragement and self-doubt. 'Tis the season of time off from work and family gatherings...and I have neither (no work, and no family gathering). I'm on my own to tag along to other people's family gatherings.

I really thought this year would have been different. I have really tried to make it different. Part of me wonders why I should even bother trying, and the other--that now recognizes discouragement to be a temptation--says I need to keep trying.

Bishop spoke to me again about not giving up on love. He shared two instances where righteous guys--married in the temple--were mistreated in their marriages, got divorces, and were able to remarry righteous women in the temple, "and they lived happily ever after." His examples didn't work the way he wanted them to. He was trying to help me move on from Adam, and instead he made me think of him. My bishop's point, however, was that there are other men out there, "[I] just have to choose one."

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not that easy. Just anyone won't do.

Whatever. The bishop challenged me to the same thing he did shortly before I met Adam. I will try again, and try not to roll my eyes too much. Who knows, maybe it will help me get over him. (haha, have I mentioned how ridiculous I am to still feel this way after so long?)

In the meantime, I am packing to move west, and looking for jobs. Idaho still feels more right than Utah, but I'm a big chicken so I hope I can find an adequate job in Utah. Also, I've been able to dance a little bit more--at no cost to me--these past couple of weeks. All because of service opportunities and generosity of others. I love dancing, and I love that I can bring others joy and inspiration through dance.

I've actually done a lot of service recently--it's really fun! Look up the Light the World campaign, and find ways to help others in your community. :)