Secret Santa

In spite of all of my complaining, I am so very blessed, and I know it.

There are things I want that are beyond my control, and I need to just let them go. (Easier said than done.)

I have siblings to talk to, and nieces and nephews to love--and they're ridiculously cute.

Christmas eve, things are starting to quiet down. It's like 11pm:
Me: Oh, peanuts!
3-year-old nephew: (very concerned) What's wrong, Rinny?
M: Aunt Leslie forgot one of her presents.
3YO: Where?
M: Right there. peanuts!
3YO: Dat's ok, Rinny. (in a comforting tone)
M: You're right, bud. <switch topics>

Next afternoon, I'm talking to Leslie on the phone and my nephew comes up to say hi.
3YO: Who is that?
M: Aunt Leslie
3YO: Rinny, tell her she forgot her present! But it's ok, it's still here. We'll watch it for her.
M: Oh! You're right! Thanks for reminding me! :)
3YO: You're welcome (in his cute little voice--he can't make a lot of sounds properly, so it was more like "dure welcome." haha, he makes me smile.)

Haha, he impresses me with his consideration and memory. Last week or so, he went with me to get some Christmas presents, and then I took him to walk around and see the temple lights. As we're getting back in the car he looked at the temple and said, "Hey, Rinny. Remember you took me and [his older brother] into the temple? Can we go again?" It had been 5 months--that was when I was watching them because my sister was in the hospital with her new baby. I stood there thinking, how does he remember that? We were only inside for like 2 minutes, 5 months ago! I just wanted to give him a hug. He's the cutest, sweetest little guy.

I have also been blessed by my friendships. I have a secret santa out there... I don't know who it is; no one will tell me.

I gave up dancing in October, for a number of reasons I couldn't afford to do it anymore. The few times I've been to the studio since then, everyone has been asking where I've been and when my next competition is. I'd tell them I'm not really dancing anymore. Cue shock, sadness, incredulity, etc. Before I know it, I get a text from the studio manager asking me to watch the desk for a few hours one day in exchange for lesson time. Next thing I know, I'm offered a similar gig I had a couple of years ago where I work part time for dancing. ...only I'm to get the floor time first and we'll work out the work hours later. I explained that I'm moving soon... "Oh, it's ok, it's ok. We'll get it figured out."

I was in the other day, and went to record my dancing for payment purposes, and see that it's marked as having been paid for already. I didn't pay, no have I worked any. No one has talked to me about working since the initial offer. Come to find out, someone has paid for my dancing--and it's not at all cheap. I don't even know who to thank.

I have a lot to be thankful for, and I have been very blessed by my family and friends. As lonely as I feel, I know I'm not alone and there are people who care about me.

I'm working on setting my new goals for 2018. 2017, as hard as it has been emotionally, has been a very good year. Hopefully I'll find more luck in 2018.