Journals are interesting things. I pulled mine out from last year to share some advice I received. Re-reading it took me back to the moment I was writing it. There was such a powerful sentiment that caused me to write it, and I still remember it so clearly.

I look back on the past almost two years since I wrote it. I think of the hope, the joy, the disappointment, the heartache, and fear I have felt since then. I feel like 2017 and 2018 have knocked me down and beaten me up.

Have I become any better for it? By all indications: no. That just means more room to grow, right? Or....I get demoted to easier tasks for me to handle.

Which may be ok. I miss the days where I didn’t know what I was missing. I still miss what I had with Adam. I know he’s moved happily along, while I wonder if I can trust anyone with my heart.
The shell that it is.