Your birthday is important. It's the day you came into the world. I don't like people making a big deal out of me on mine, and I've already explained this.
However. If I were married, I'd sure as heck want my husband to do something special--nothing extravagant or big (seriously), just special--for me on my birthday. I'd want him to make sure I know that he's happy that I'm here. Especially, if we have kids. There are two reasons for that.
1. It's my birthday. After, let's say ten years of marriage, it's one of the very few days I can look forward to something special just for me. Not for my kids, not because I have kids, but something simply for being me. Something to celebrate my existence.
Think about it. Ten years of meal prep, laundry, grocery shopping, house cleaning, taking care of children, visiting with in-laws, maybe a couple of relocations for my husband's job. It's not easy nor glamorous. We have a lot of memories, and fun times, but along the way I may wonder if he sees me anymore. Does he appreciate me? Doing something special for me on my birthday--even if it's bringing home flowers and a card--would make my day. I wouldn't care if anyone else acknowledged my birthday, because my husband is my significant other. Significant. He's the only one who really matters. Family is obligated to wish happy birthday, and friends have other stuff in their lives, so it's ok if they don't. He's the one I'm spending my life with. He's the one who, at the end of the day, has to continually decide to choose me. (Likewise, I have to choose him, too.)
What message do I receive if he can't remember a very significant day in my life, that is not a hallmark holiday? Do I even matter to him?
2. If we have kids, especially little boys, you had better do something for me on my birthday. It could be something like waking the kids up and helping them get ready for school. Not enough time? Wake them up and tell them why they should go wake me up. Do something out of the ordinary to set the day apart.
I'm not one to boast of my birthday, so if I were to hear our children asking whose birthday it was after seeing the calendar...I'd be disappointed. Not in them, but in you. What kind of example are you setting for them, and the way they will treat people important to them? Our children learn from us. Are you helping them understand that their future girlfriends and eventually wife should be loved like a queen, and not like a doormat? If our children learn it was my birthday because you mention it on your way out for work...I would be crushed.
As husband and wife, we are a team. You would be my most important person, and I would hope to be your most important person. Life...life is busy. There are jobs to be done, expectations to be met...it never stops. The call for your time will never stop.
Knowing myself, I don't know that I would be able to point out how important it is that you remember my birthday. I wouldn't be able to say, "You can be a few minutes late" or, "You can have tell them you can't make it to scouts tonight." At least not in the month of my birthday. I'd hope you would remember without me reminding you. I will happily remind you of anything else, but not my birthday or our anniversary. I would need you to remember those on your own because they're important to you--I matter to you.
I don't want to be an afterthought to you. To anyone else, ok, I can handle that. But not to you.
You had better believe that I will never forget your birthday. I'll want to do something special for you, too. Why? Because I'd want to make sure you know that you're important to me. That I'm happy you're alive and in my life. I'd make sure to get the kids in on it, too. Why? Because I want them to know that it's a lot of fun to do nice things, especially for those you love.
Because, future husband of mine, I will love you even when I'm not happy with you, and we don't see eye-to-eye. I will love you for all that you do for us. And I will love you even more for loving me.
Just don't forget my birthday.
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