Betrayal

This has not been my year. I have been betrayed by the people I should have been able to count on.

I mean, if you say you love someone and you want to marry them, you don't just disappear with no word or explanation. The only acceptable reason to not say anything is if you were to die (and I don't wish that on anyone).

Now I'm hesitant to even give anyone a chance. Why bother? They'll probably just disappear with no further ado. I can't help but think I'm not even worth it--I'm only ever good enough for a supporting role in other people's love story.

The one thing I am confident in is my work ethic. I'm a great employee. So when the man I reported the comment to the other day completely disregards my complaint without so much as a consideration of the players involved, and asks my boss, "What did you hope to gain from [me] reporting what [I] had heard?" That ticked me off!

As the remainder of the week unfolded, it seemed like it would take too much effort on management's part to investigate a threat on someone's life. So  they'd rather pretend it didn't happen.

I feel like I'm in a tail-spin. It'll be an interesting next couple of weeks, but...I can't seem to be able to trust anyone. Everyone that I should have been able to trust has betrayed that trust, and it's not something that can just be given back.

And now, because I'm unsure as to what lies ahead...and I need to watch my back, I had to tell my partner that I will be unable to dance anymore.

I don't know how Jesus did it. His betrayal was much more severe, and yet he continued on his way, forgiving those that would kill him. I am empty. I have nothing left to give, and I'm finding it hard to care.