Ladies and Gentlemen

Whatever happened to the good old days when men would court ladies? I'm a traditional girl who was born a few decades late, I s'pose. I love hearing my grandmother's stories of the weekly dances she would go to in town with dates--even if the date was nothing more than a male friend they would still call it a date, they were paired off. He would pay, open doors for her, etc. You know, all that jazz.

Now it seems guys [since a fair number can't be considered gentlemen] don't even take the initiative to ask girls out, but instead expect the girls to do the asking. Where is the leadership in that? We are given counsel to date more, and they scoff at it. I don't think so much of myself to think since it's not happening to me, it must not be happening. I see it in many girls of my acquaintance who are pretty, smart, funny, talented, etc. who, just for no other reason than boys not asking, do not go out. Do you guys not remember how to be bold? Did you not serve missions and invite people to do things?

One example would be some friends of mine established that they liked each other. I can't tell you how long after that it took until they actually went on a date, because the guy did not ask. I would imagine that the hardest part would be asking if you didn't know the feelings of the girl. (The second date was very spaced out...again he wasn't asking, and I don't think there was a third).

Quite frankly, it disgusts me when people tell me to be more assertive and ask. As a girl I believe I can do most anything a guy can do. In this case, however, I don't believe I should. I can encourage, but I will not ask. If men are to be the head of the household in the future, why should they not learn responsibility and initiative in the early stages? Asking them would take the control away from them, and ultimately be an impediment to them.

Now, don't get me wrong, if you're already in an established relationship go ahead and ask each other out. That is perfectly acceptable, as you should be helping each other as partners. It is only at the beginning and in social dating experiences that I would discourage it.

Guys--man up.