Kids. That’s going to be my hang up: if I can love his kids. 

I guess I’m still trying to see how things can work with this guy, except I feel like an outsider—I don’t love his kids like I would my own. In any relationship, that will have to be my litmus test. I’m envious that he has that piece of family, but they are surely his and not mine. It’s so hard because I WANT a family. I want for things to feel right to the point I just know. I want someone I can encourage, and who can in turn encourage me. I am squandering so much potential because I’m trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. 

This week, I’m working on revamping my resume and finding something that will utilize my talents and push me to grow. I’m dying where I am, though I am grateful for work. I’m a fighter. I’m not giving up. I will overcome. I will figure out dating later.

I had a lot of good thoughts on the plane. I’m also not discounting the idea of moving back East. It is a great place. My dad’s not doing great either, so being closer to family is a bonus.