On a not-so-good day for me, my best friend here tells me he has a date tomorrow night. I’m ok with it really. But I don’t think we’ll be friends so much in the future. He won’t have time for me.

I was struggling with the futility of my life right now—my job is so painfully boring—and I wonder what I’m even doing in Idaho. Heck, I wouldn’t know what I was doing if I moved back East. Or to California. Or to Utah. I don’t belong anywhere. I’ve been here a couple of years now and I have one, single friend. I dont know how to make friends. I don’t even have any ganas to date. There’s no point. I have no heart.

I just want to go home. I don’t know where it is though. 😭 I really want to find home. Somewhere where I matter to someone, and somewhere where I can get hugs. This has been such a rough year, I really need hugs and snuggles. 

I Want my medianaranja.