At some point last night, I thought:

Patience
Kindness
Forgiveness
Charity
...
Love doesn’t just shut off. I don’t know how to stop it. I was prepared to love him forever, and I don’t know how to undo that. Love isn’t an idle word for me. It’s not lust, and it’s not temporary. The song “When I Fall in Love” comes to mind.

I don’t know how I’m going to get past this.

I’d probably still choose him, I miss him. I’m sad for the hard things he’s been through recently. I’m not exactly sure how they’ve been, but it can’t have been easy. I wish I were by his side, and we could laugh about this in 40 years.