I love sealings.
I love temple work.

I love reading scriptures with my sister's family.

I am struggling.
I am trying.
I am hoping when hope seems vain.

I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know where I'm going.

I try not to compare my life with others, but it's hard.

I don't know how to explain, but the other day, I was walking around and I just felt like all of the bouncing around in my life is stretching me in the ways that I need. That I'm not wasting my life. There is a purpose for all of this. It was relieving, but at the same time, it doesn't make it any easier. I look around and I wish I were better. I wish I were stronger. I see others who have done so much more with their lives, and I think why can't I be more like them?

Why can't I seem to get anything right that allows me to move forward?

The past couple of nights, I've been having dreams of Adam. I wake up and have to remind myself he's married to someone else. The guy in Pennsylvania is a perfectly good man. Why can't I dream of him instead? If not him, why can't I find someone else?